Tweedledee and Tweedledum

When I was in elementary school and middle school, I remember several people coming to school to lecture us about the importance of internet safety. At home, it was also stressed. We did not have email accounts until we were thirteen and facebook was seen as the essence of evil until a just a couple years ago. What I remember most, was the warning to never, ever to enter chat rooms.

Because if you did, you would die. It was inevitable. An old, slimy, hairy, creepy man would be on the other side of the connection piecing together clues about your life. "She wears a cheer-leading jacket and rides bus 134. Her school colors are blue and gold." You know they are thinking it. You know they will find you, and you will die a horrible, painful, gruesome death.

So you imagine my dilemma when to my surprise a little facebook chat window popped up from one of my friends. I usually had it on the offline setting (for previous chatting=death reasons). It was a friend who will be living with me next year. I couldn't very well ignore her as that would be rude. So I did it. I typed into the little box of death.

I'm trying to enjoy what is left of my life. From my understanding chatting on the internet and death have a correlation coefficient of 1 (a perfect positive correlation). I really hope you can all come to the funeral.